I'm so sorry this was happened for you and the distress this is causing. HOWEVER, being a strong man of God, perhaps God is also laying this battle before you. Clothes do not make a person as is read by many of the writings that go around the internet. Having to have 'special clothes' can be a deterrent for others to attend be it not having them, not wishing to wear them, or whatever reasoning. God wants us to come to Him in any way we can. If one is able to dress up because they wish to further honor Him that is fine. But to keep someone from ministering makes it a sad thing if it is required. I'm fortunate that our church doesn't have that dress code. Does it not look great when someone is up leading music in jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe not, but you know it might just be that one barrier that was peeled away for someone who needs to be ministered to right where they're at, street clothes and all. It can be also looked at in another way too. Last night I was at a concert where the church men sponsoring it wore suits. It was at a local hotel since they have their church there. The men wore their dark suits with black and white shoes. Now I tell you, that did not impress me at all!! But I also thought they are 'just clothes' and if they wish to laud over others who they are or set themselves apart so people know who they are, far be it from me to think different. So it can indeed go the other way too. I'll be praying too for wisdom and discernment for all of this.