Diet Prayer

totallyforgiven2 · 09-26-2005

DIET PRAYER

Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We are what we eat," said a wise old man!
and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

I want to rise an Judgment Day, that's plain!
but at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot-curles be dated
that my soul may be poly unsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurkes in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a choclate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day my daily slice
but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimples knees,
deliver me from jujubees.

And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe--size 30 long.

I can do it Lord, if You'll show to me
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
of pasta a la Milannaise
potatoes a la Lyonnaise
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.

Lord, since You love me, shut my mouth!

Polo · 11-15-2011

What a good diet option! lol

09-26-2005	#1
totallyforgiven2 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 928 Rep Power: 1	Diet Prayer DIET PRAYER Lord, My soul is ripped with riot incited by my wicked diet. "We are what we eat," said a wise old man! and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can. I want to rise an Judgment Day, that's plain! but at my present weight, I'll need a crane. So grant me strength, that I may not fall into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot-curles be dated that my soul may be poly unsaturated And show me the light, that I may bear witness to the President's Council on Physical Fitness. And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter, for the road to Hell is spread with butter. And cream is cursed; and cake is awful; and Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurkes in provolone; the Devil is in each slice of baloney, Beelzebub is a choclate drop, and Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice but, cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimples knees, deliver me from jujubees. And when my days of trial are done, and my war with malted milk is won, Let me stand with Heavenly throng, In a shining robe--size 30 long. I can do it Lord, if You'll show to me the virtues of lettuce and celery. If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, of pasta a la Milannaise potatoes a la Lyonnaise and crisp-fried chicken from the South. Lord, since You love me, shut my mouth!

11-15-2011	#2
Polo *****istrator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 4,007 Images: 3 Rep Power: 1	Re: Diet Prayer What a good diet option! lol

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